Ace Erasure: Asexual Invisibility, Invalidity, and Recognition

Examples include saying:

• “Everyone wants sex eventually.”
• “You just have not met the right person.”
• “You are probably just afraid of intimacy.”
• “Asexuality is only a phase.”
• “You cannot be asexual if you have had sex.”

These statements erase ace experiences by forcing them into allosexual assumptions.

Asexuality generally describes experiencing little or no sexual attraction. It does not require a particular sexual history, relationship status, or attitude toward sex.

It may involve:

• refusing to recognize asexuality as an orientation;
• treating ace people as sexually inexperienced rather than asexual;
• assuming everyone experiences sexual attraction;
• leaving asexuality out of sex education;
• confusing asexuality with celibacy;
• assuming all ace people have low libido;
• treating asexuality as something that needs to be fixed.

Sometimes erasure is intentional. In other cases, it comes from allonormativity, the assumption that sexual attraction is universal.

An asexual person may:

• have sex;
• avoid sex;
• masturbate;
• experience arousal;
• have a libido;
• have little interest in sexual activity.

None of these behaviors automatically invalidate an ace identity.

Sexual attraction, sexual desire, arousal, and behavior are related but separate concepts.

For example, an asexual person may choose sexual activity for intimacy, curiosity, reproduction, or a partner while still experiencing little or no sexual attraction.

Ace erasure is a specific form of invalidation in which asexuality is ignored, denied, or treated as unreal.

For example:

• saying ace people are incapable of love is acephobic;
• saying asexuality does not exist is ace erasure.

The two frequently overlap.

Repeated erasure can reinforce acephobia by making asexual identities seem less legitimate.

Allonormativity assumes that everyone naturally experiences sexual attraction.

This can lead to compulsory sexuality, the pressure to behave as though sexual activity is necessary for:

• adulthood;
• relationships;
• health;
• emotional maturity;
• personal fulfillment.

An ace person may therefore feel pressured to date, have sex, or pretend to experience attraction in order to appear “normal.”

Ace erasure helps maintain these expectations by making non-allosexual experiences less visible.

Asexuality is not the same as:

• low libido;
• a sudden loss of sexual desire;
• sexual dysfunction;
• hormonal illness.

A person may identify as asexual without experiencing distress about their orientation.

Medical assessment can still be appropriate when someone experiences a new, unwanted, or distressing change in sexual desire or functioning.

Inclusive healthcare distinguishes a stable ace identity from symptoms that the patient personally wants evaluated.

An ace person may be told that:

• a relationship without sex is not real;
• they cannot love deeply;
• they will eventually change;
• they owe a partner sexual activity.

These ideas are inaccurate.

Asexual people may have:

• romantic relationships;
• queerplatonic relationships;
• marriages;
• close friendships;
• chosen families;
• no partnership at all.

Some ace people are sexually active and others are not.

There is no single ace relationship model.

Asexual people may still experience romantic attraction.

For example, an asexual person may be:

• heteroromantic;
• homoromantic;
• biromantic;
• panromantic;
• aromantic.

Sexual and romantic attraction are not always identical.

An ace person can therefore want romance without wanting sex, or may want neither.

Ignoring this diversity can erase important differences within ace-spectrum experiences.

Ace people may sometimes hear that they are:

• not “queer enough”;
• not really a sexual minority;
• simply celibate;
• not affected by sexuality-related stigma.

These claims overlook the discrimination, misunderstanding, compulsory-sexuality pressure, and identity invalidation that ace people may experience.

Asexuality can be part of the broader LGBTQ+ spectrum, although individuals differ in whether they personally use LGBTQ+, queer, or other community labels.

Examples may include:

• sex education that never mentions asexuality;
• characters without sexual interest being treated as immature or defective;
• research that offers no asexual identity option;
• healthcare forms that assume everyone is sexually attracted to someone.

More inclusive representation recognizes that sexual attraction varies widely across people.

Ace visibility does not require portraying every asexual person the same way.

An ace person may begin thinking:

• “Maybe my orientation is not real.”
• “I need sexual experience before I can know.”
• “There must be something wrong with me.”
• “I should force myself to want sex.”

These beliefs can produce shame or self-doubt.

Recognizing ace erasure can help a person separate social expectations from their own experiences.

A person does not need to prove asexuality through abstinence, sexual experience, or permanent certainty.

Asexual people never have sex.
No. Sexual behavior does not automatically determine orientation.

Asexuality and celibacy are the same.
No. Celibacy describes behavior or a choice, while asexuality concerns sexual attraction.

Ace people cannot have romantic relationships.
No. Many asexual people experience romantic attraction.

Asexuality is always caused by low libido.
No. Libido and sexual attraction are different concepts.

Ace erasure only comes from heterosexual people.
No. It can also occur within LGBTQ+ spaces, healthcare, media, and other settings.

1. Ace erasure occurs when asexuality is ignored or treated as unreal.
2. Saying that everyone eventually wants sex can contribute to ace erasure.
3. Asexual people may have sex without their orientation becoming invalid.
4. Ace erasure often overlaps with allonormativity and compulsory sexuality.
5. Healthcare professionals should not automatically medicalize asexual identity.
6. Leaving asexuality out of sex education can contribute to ace invisibility.
7. Repeated ace erasure may contribute to internalized acephobia.
8. Understanding ace erasure helps explain asexual invisibility, stigma, identity invalidation, and social pressure.

It can affect identity, relationships, healthcare, self-image, sexual boundaries, and feelings of belonging within LGBTQ+ communities.

Gender can also shape ace erasure because people of different genders may face different expectations about sexual desire and sexual activity. An inclusive approach recognizes asexuality as a valid sexual orientation and avoids assuming that everyone experiences or should experience sexual attraction.