Autoromantic: Meaning, Self-Romance, and Romantic Identity

For example, an autoromantic person may:

• take themselves on planned dates;
• buy themselves romantic gifts;
• write love letters to themselves;
• celebrate a personal anniversary;
• imagine a committed relationship with themselves;
• feel romantic affection when looking at or thinking about themselves;
• experience self-directed romance alongside attraction to others.

Not everyone who practices self-care or enjoys solo activities is autoromantic. The identity usually involves a meaningful pattern of romantic attraction toward oneself.

• auto-, meaning “self”;
• romantic, referring to romantic attraction, affection, or orientation.

Autoromantic is most commonly used as an adjective:

• She identifies as autoromantic.
• He described his orientation as autoromantic.
• They are exploring an autoromantic identity.

It may also function as a noun:

• She is autoromantic.
• He is an autoromantic.
• Several autoromantics discussed their experiences.

In formal educational writing, autoromantic person often sounds clearer than an autoromantic.

The noun autoromanticism refers to the identity or experience:

• Autoromanticism may coexist with attraction toward others.
• The discussion separated autoromanticism from ordinary self-care.

Common patterns include:

• identify as autoromantic;
• experience autoromantic attraction;
• express autoromantic feelings;
• explore autoromanticism;
• describe oneself as autoromantic.

Possible experiences include:

• feeling romantic admiration for oneself;
• enjoying one’s own company in a date-like setting;
• imagining oneself as both partners in a romantic scenario;
• directing romantic language toward oneself;
• feeling emotionally fulfilled by self-partnership;
• prioritizing a personal relationship with oneself;
• experiencing romantic attraction toward oneself and other people.

A person does not need to practice every behavior listed above to use the term.

Autoromanticism is more specifically connected to romantic attraction or romantic feelings directed toward oneself.

A person can practice strong self-love without being autoromantic. Similarly, an autoromantic person may still struggle with confidence or self-esteem.

The distinction is:

• Self-love concerns care and positive regard for oneself.
• Autoromanticism concerns romantic attraction or self-directed romance.

The two may support each other, but they are not identical.

Anyone may enjoy solo dating. It can support independence, relaxation, confidence, or self-care.

For an autoromantic person, solo dating may also express genuine romantic feelings toward themselves. However, the activity alone does not establish an autoromantic identity.

Behavior and attraction remain separate:

• A non-autoromantic person may enjoy solo dates.
• An autoromantic person may rarely go on formal dates with themselves.

Autosexual refers to sexual attraction toward oneself.

Someone may identify as:

• autoromantic but not autosexual;
• autosexual but not autoromantic;
• both autoromantic and autosexual;
• neither.

An autoromantic person may enjoy emotional affection, symbolic commitment, or self-directed courtship without experiencing sexual attraction toward themselves.

An autosexual person may feel sexually attracted to themselves without experiencing romantic self-attraction. Romantic and sexual attraction should therefore be understood separately.

Some autoromantic people may also identify as aromantic because their romantic attraction is directed toward themselves rather than others. Others may experience romantic attraction both toward themselves and toward other people.

The labels are not automatic opposites. A person may use:

• autoromantic;
• aromantic and autoromantic;
• biromantic and autoromantic;
• another combined identity.

The individual chooses the labels that best describe their experience.

An autoromantic person experiences romantic attraction toward themselves. They may also be alloromantic if they regularly experience romantic attraction toward others.

Therefore, autoromanticism describes the direction of some romantic attraction rather than necessarily describing the person’s entire romantic orientation.

An autoromantic person may:

• prefer self-partnership;
• want conventional romantic relationships;
• enjoy both self-directed and partner-directed romance;
• remain single;
• form a queerplatonic relationship;
• combine autoromantic with another orientation label.

The identity alone does not reveal whether someone dates, marries, lives with a partner, or prefers independence.

A self-partnership may include:

• making commitments to personal well-being;
• celebrating personal achievements;
• setting aside intentional time alone;
• creating romantic rituals;
• developing emotional independence;
• refusing to treat singlehood as incomplete.

Not every self-partnered person is autoromantic. Self-partnership may be philosophical, practical, emotional, or romantic depending on the person.

In everyday language, narcissism often refers to excessive self-importance or disregard for others. In clinical psychology, narcissistic personality disorder involves a broader and more complex pattern affecting self-image, empathy, behavior, and relationships.

Autoromanticism only describes romantic attraction toward oneself. An autoromantic person may be compassionate, considerate, emotionally generous, and capable of healthy relationships with others.

Romantic self-attraction does not prove arrogance or a personality disorder.

Everyone who goes on solo dates is autoromantic.
No. Solo dating is a behavior that people of many orientations may enjoy.

Autoromantic people cannot love anyone else.
Incorrect. Some also experience romantic attraction toward other people.

Autoromantic and autosexual mean the same thing.
No. One concerns romantic attraction, while the other concerns sexual attraction.

Autoromanticism is narcissism.
No. Romantic self-attraction is different from entitlement, lack of empathy, or a personality disorder.

Autoromantic people must remain single.
No. They may enter romantic, sexual, queerplatonic, or other relationships.

1. Maya identifies as autoromantic because she experiences romantic attraction toward herself.
2. An autoromantic person may also feel romantically attracted to other people.
3. Can someone be both aromantic and autoromantic?
4. His autoromantic identity includes taking himself on meaningful solo dates.
5. The glossary distinguishes autoromantic from autosexual and ordinary self-love.
6. Being autoromantic does not mean that a person is narcissistic.
7. She described herself as autoromantic without rejecting relationships with others.
8. Understanding autoromantic helped them explain why self-directed romance felt important to their identity.

It also helps distinguish romantic attraction from sexual attraction, self-esteem, self-care, and relationship behavior. Someone may be autoromantic without being autosexual, or may identify with both terms.

Understanding autoromanticism broadens the vocabulary of attraction and relationships. It recognizes that self-directed romance may be meaningful while still allowing for friendship, partnership, sexual attraction, or romantic connection with others.