Marry: Meaning, Marriage, Grammar, Consent, and Commitment

The verb may describe:

• two people entering marriage;
• one person becoming another person’s spouse;
• an officiant conducting a marriage ceremony;
• joining ideas or qualities figuratively.

Simple examples include:

• They hope to marry in June.
• She plans to marry her longtime partner.
• The judge will marry the couple.
• No one should be forced to marry.
• Choosing to marry does not mean agreeing to sex at any time.

• They will marry next year.
• The couple married privately.
• After a long engagement, they decided to marry.

It can also take a direct object:

• She married her college partner.
• He wants to marry his boyfriend.
• The celebrant married the couple.

When the person performing the ceremony is the subject, marry means to officially join two people in marriage:

• The minister married them.
• The civil official is authorized to marry couples.

Use marry directly before a person:

• She will marry Daniel.
• He married his partner.

Use get married to before a person:

• She will get married to Daniel.
• He got married to his partner.

Use get married when no partner is named:

• They want to get married.
• We got married last year.

For non-native English learners:

• correct: marry someone;
• correct: get married to someone;
• incorrect: marry with someone.

Wed means the same thing but often sounds more formal or literary.

Compare:

• They plan to marry in October.
• They plan to wed in October.

Wed is especially common in:

• newspaper headlines;
• formal announcements;
• poetry;
• historical writing;
• ceremonial language.

To marry means to enter the marriage itself.

Compare:

• They became engaged in March.
• They plan to marry in December.

An engagement may end before the marriage occurs. A person who agreed to become engaged still has the right to reconsider.

A wedding is the ceremony or celebration at which people marry.

Compare:

• They will marry on Saturday.
• Their wedding will take place on Saturday.

A couple may marry in a simple legal ceremony and hold a larger wedding celebration later.

Depending on the legal, cultural, or religious context, people who marry may include:

• a woman and a man;
• two women;
• two men;
• a nonbinary person and a partner;
• people of other gender identities.

Examples include:

• She plans to marry her girlfriend.
• He wants to marry his boyfriend.
• The nonbinary partners chose to marry in a civil ceremony.

Marriage to a particular person does not always reveal someone’s complete sexual orientation.

Consent to marry should not result from:

• physical force;
• threats;
• family pressure;
• financial coercion;
• fear of social punishment;
• deception;
• religious pressure;
• immigration-related control.

A person may withdraw from a planned marriage before the ceremony, even when invitations have been sent or money has been spent.

A marriage entered through force or serious coercion is not the same as a freely chosen marriage.

A person may choose to marry while also choosing:

• not to have premarital sex;
• not to have sex on the wedding night;
• to delay intercourse;
• to refuse a particular sexual act;
• to change their mind;
• to prefer nonsexual affection.

After people marry, consent remains necessary during every sexual encounter.

Marriage does not create ownership of a spouse’s body or permanent permission for sex.

• love;
• companionship;
• religious commitment;
• legal recognition;
• family formation;
• financial or practical partnership;
• immigration or citizenship considerations;
• social or cultural expectations.

Some motivations may overlap.

A person may also choose not to marry and still have a committed, meaningful relationship.

• finances and debt;
• household responsibilities;
• careers;
• religion;
• children or childfree living;
• contraception;
• sexual expectations;
• fidelity;
• family involvement;
• living arrangements.

Deciding to marry does not mean both partners automatically share the same expectations.

Premarital counseling or honest discussion may help identify important differences before the wedding.

It may address:

• property;
• savings;
• debt;
• inheritance;
• businesses;
• financial support;
• possible separation.

A prenuptial agreement does not necessarily indicate distrust. It may help both partners understand their financial rights and responsibilities.

However, it should not be used to pressure someone or claim permanent control over intimate or reproductive decisions.

Others may practice consensual nonmonogamy.

Before marrying, partners may need to discuss:

• what counts as infidelity;
• emotional relationships;
• flirting;
• pornography;
• online intimacy;
• outside sexual partners;
• safer-sex practices;
• disclosure and privacy.

The act of marrying does not automatically establish identical assumptions. Clear agreement is important.

Marriage does not give one spouse control over the other person’s:

• contraception;
• pregnancy;
• abortion decision;
• fertility treatment;
• sterilization;
• healthcare.

Reproductive decisions should involve respectful communication while recognizing bodily autonomy.

Examples include:

• The design marries beauty with practicality.
• The program marries sexual-health education with relationship skills.
• The novel marries romance and satire.
• The policy tries to marry tradition with equality.

In this figurative use, no actual marriage occurs. The verb means to unite or blend qualities, ideas, or systems.

These expectations may concern:

• partner choice;
• ceremonies;
• family approval;
• gender roles;
• fidelity;
• reproduction;
• divorce;
• sexual behavior.

People may freely follow cultural or religious traditions. However, such traditions should not be used to justify forced marriage, sexual coercion, abuse, or denial of personal autonomy.

Marry and get engaged mean the same thing.
Engagement is an intention to marry; marriage is the completed union.

Only a man and woman can marry.
People of different or similar genders may marry where recognized.

Agreeing to marry means agreeing to sex.
Marriage plans and sexual consent are separate.

People who marry must have children.
Marriage and parenthood are separate choices.

Once people marry, consent is no longer necessary.
Consent remains necessary throughout marriage.

1. Marry means to become another person’s spouse.
2. They plan to marry in a small civil ceremony.
3. She hopes to marry her longtime girlfriend.
4. He decided to marry his partner after a five-year relationship.
5. The officiant will marry the couple beside the lake.
6. No person should be forced to marry against their will.
7. Agreeing to marry does not create consent to sexual activity.
8. Before they marry, the partners discussed money, fidelity, and family planning.
9. People may marry without choosing traditional gender roles.
10. In figurative English, marry can mean combining two ideas or qualities successfully.

However, choosing to marry does not indicate whether a couple is sexually active or create permanent permission for sexual contact. Each spouse keeps the right to set boundaries, refuse intimacy, and make personal reproductive decisions.

Accurate sexuality education emphasizes that people should freely choose whether and whom to marry. Healthy married intimacy depends on mutual consent, equality, honest communication, privacy, reproductive autonomy, and freedom from coercion or violence.