Monosexism: Meaning, Bisexual Erasure, and Sexual Orientation

For example, someone may assume that a bisexual womandating a man is actually heterosexual or that the same woman dating a woman is actually lesbian. This is monosexist because it defines her orientation only by her current partner and refuses to recognize attraction to more than one gender.

Monosexism can come from heterosexual or LGBTQIA+ communities. It does not require open hostility; it may also appear through stereotypes, exclusion, disbelief, or repeated pressure to “choose a side.”

• The article examines monosexism in LGBTQIA+ communities.
• Monosexism can contribute to bisexual erasure.
• The organization revised its policies to address monosexism.

The adjective monosexist describes a belief, statement, behavior, or system:

• a monosexist assumption;
• monosexist language;
• a monosexist stereotype;
• monosexist discrimination.

Examples include:

• The claim that bisexuality is only a phase is monosexist.
• The survey used monosexist categories that excluded multisexual identities.

The word should not be confused with monosexual, which describes someone attracted to only one gender.

• mono-, meaning one;
• sex, referring here to sexual orientation or attraction;
• -ism, indicating a belief system, social pattern, or form of bias.

The term therefore concerns the unequal treatment of orientations involving attraction to multiple genders.

Examples may include:

• heterosexuality;
• gay identity;
• lesbian identity.

Monosexism means treating monosexuality as more valid, natural, stable, or understandable than multisexuality.

Compare:

• He is monosexual because he is attracted only to men.
• His claim that bisexual people are confused is monosexist.

Being heterosexual, gay, or lesbian does not automatically make someone monosexist. Monosexual people can recognize and support bisexual, pansexual, and other multisexual identities.

Monosexism is broader. It describes a social pattern that privileges attraction to one gender and may affect people who identify as:

• bisexual;
• pansexual;
• omnisexual;
• polysexual;
• queer;
• multisexual.

The two often overlap. Claiming that bisexual people must eventually become heterosexual or gay is both biphobic and monosexist.

Monosexism is one system that can produce this erasure.

Examples include:

• calling a bisexual person heterosexual because they have a different-gender partner;
• calling them gay or lesbian because they have a same-gender partner;
• describing historical bisexual figures only as heterosexual or homosexual;
• excluding bisexuality from sexual-orientation education;
• assuming bisexuality disappears in a committed relationship.

A person’s current partner does not determine the full range of genders they may experience attraction toward.

Monosexism privileges attraction to one gender over attraction to multiple genders.

A bisexual person may therefore experience both:

• heterosexism because they experience attraction beyond heterosexuality;
• monosexism because their attraction is not limited to one gender.

Monosexism may also appear within gay and lesbian communities when bisexual or pansexual identities are dismissed as indecisive or insufficiently queer.

For example, someone may claim that a bisexual person is secretly gay but afraid to admit it. This assumption may reflect both homosexism and monosexism because it treats exclusive same-gender attraction as more genuine than bisexuality.

The term homosexism is less consistently used than heterosexism, so the intended meaning should be made clear from context.

• “You need to choose whether you are straight or gay.”
• “Bisexuality is only a phase.”
• “Your current partner proves your real orientation.”
• “Pansexual people are simply confused.”
• “Bisexual people cannot remain faithful.”
• “Everyone eventually prefers one gender.”
• “A bisexual person in a different-gender relationship is no longer queer.”
• “Attraction to multiple genders is only experimentation.”

These claims turn stereotypes into assumptions about an entire group.

They may be stereotyped as:

• indecisive;
• unfaithful;
• sexually available;
• unable to be satisfied by one partner;
• secretly heterosexual;
• secretly gay or lesbian;
• likely to leave for someone of another gender.

Attraction to multiple genders does not mean needing multiple partners. A bisexual or pansexual person may be monogamous, nonmonogamous, single, celibate, or part of another consensually chosen relationship structure.

Relationship behavior and sexual orientation are different concepts.

Examples include:

• being told they are not queer enough;
• being treated as heterosexual when dating another gender;
• being viewed as untrustworthy in gay or lesbian relationships;
• having their identity questioned after marriage;
• being excluded from discussions about discrimination;
• being pressured to adopt a monosexual label.

This can create a sense of not fully belonging in either community.

• avoids naming bisexual or pansexual characters;
• changes a character’s label according to their current partner;
• portrays multisexuality mainly through infidelity;
• treats bisexuality as a transition between straight and gay;
• presents attraction to multiple genders as confusion;
• excludes bisexual history and representation.

Inclusive representation allows multisexual characters to have stable identities regardless of their relationship status.

• heterosexual;
• gay;
• lesbian.

This structure may erase bisexual, pansexual, queer, and other orientations.

Better forms may include several relevant options, allow self-description, and distinguish sexual orientation from the gender of a current partner.

Accurate data collection matters because erasure can make multisexual populations appear smaller or less significant than they are.

• identity invalidation;
• pressure to hide one’s orientation;
• rejection from communities;
• relationship conflict;
• social isolation;
• reduced access to appropriate support;
• stereotypes about promiscuity or dishonesty;
• self-doubt;
• internalized shame.

Some people may begin questioning whether their orientation is valid when others repeatedly deny or reinterpret it.

• accepting self-identified orientation;
• not defining identity by a current partner;
• including multisexual identities in education and forms;
• avoiding stereotypes about faithfulness;
• recognizing bisexual and pansexual people in all relationship types;
• challenging “choose a side” language;
• distinguishing attraction from behavior;
• including multisexual people in LGBTQIA+ advocacy.

Supporting multisexuality does not weaken heterosexual, gay, or lesbian identities. It recognizes that patterns of attraction differ among individuals.

Bisexual people must be equally attracted to every gender.
Attraction may differ in intensity, frequency, or form and may change over time.

A person’s partner determines their orientation.
Orientation concerns patterns of attraction, not only a current relationship.

Attraction to multiple genders causes infidelity.
Faithfulness depends on behavior and relationship agreements, not orientation.

Only heterosexual people express monosexism.
Monosexist attitudes may appear in heterosexual and LGBTQIA+ communities.

• institutional monosexism;
• cultural monosexism;
• internalized monosexism;
• monosexist assumption;
• monosexist stereotype;
• monosexist language;
• challenge monosexism;
• experience monosexism.

• A bisexual woman is called heterosexual because she marries a man.
• A bisexual man is assumed to be secretly gay.
• A pansexual person is told to choose one orientation.
• An LGBTQIA+ group expands its resources to include multisexual experiences.
• A survey adds bisexual, pansexual, queer, and self-described options.
• A partner avoids assuming that bisexuality causes infidelity.
• A film consistently identifies a character as bisexual across different relationships.
• Someone recognizes and challenges their own monosexist assumptions.

1. Monosexism treats attraction to one gender as more legitimate.
2. The statement that bisexuality is only a phase is monosexist.
3. A person’s current relationship does not erase their orientation.
4. Monosexism may occur in heterosexual and queer communities.
5. The organization addressed bisexual erasure and monosexism.
6. Being monosexual does not make someone automatically monosexist.
7. The form was revised to include multisexual identities.
8. Pansexual people may experience monosexist stereotypes.
9. Attraction to multiple genders does not imply nonmonogamy.
10. Inclusive language respects the orientation a person identifies for themselves.

Human attraction can be more varied. Bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, polysexual, and other multisexual people may experience attraction across genders without being confused, dishonest, or unable to form committed relationships.

Challenging monosexism supports accurate self-identification and healthier sexual relationships. Partners should discuss attraction, behavior, boundaries, monogamy, and consent directly rather than relying on stereotypes about orientation. Every person has the right to define their sexuality without being pressured into a label that does not fit.