Aroace: Meaning, Identity, Attraction, and Relationships

Being aroace does not mean that someone lacks feelings or relationships. An aroace person may value friendship, family, emotional closeness, companionship, physicalaffection, community, or a committed non-romantic partnership.

An aroace person may:

• enjoy close friendships;
• prefer living alone or with companions;
• form a queerplatonic relationship;
• enjoy hugging or other nonsexual affection;
• date without experiencing typical romantic attraction;
• choose sexual activity for personal reasons;
• avoid romance or sex entirely;
• use additional identity labels.

There is no single way to live as an aroace person.

• aro, an abbreviation of aromantic;
• ace, an abbreviation of asexual.

Aroace is most commonly used as an adjective:

• She identifies as aroace.
• He is an aroace person.
• They participate in the aroace community.

It may also function as a noun:

• She is aroace.
• He is an aroace.
• Several aroaces discussed their experiences.

Using aroace person is often clearer in formal educational writing, while using an aroace is common in community discussions.

The word is usually written in lowercase unless it begins a sentence or appears in a title. The open form aro ace is less common, while aroace and aro-ace are both recognized.

Romantic attraction is the desire to form a romantic relationship with a particular person. It may involve romantic longing, falling in love, or wanting to be recognized as someone’s romantic partner.

Sexual attraction is the feeling of being sexually drawn toward a particular person.

An aroace person experiences little or none of both forms of attraction. However, romantic and sexual attraction are not the only forms of humanconnection.

A person may also experience:

• aesthetic attraction — appreciating someone’s appearance;
• sensual attraction — wanting nonsexual physical closeness;
• emotional attraction — wanting a strong emotional bond;
• platonic attraction — wanting friendship;
• intellectual attraction — feeling drawn to someone’s mind or ideas.

Experiencing these forms of attraction does not make someone less aroace.

For example, someone might identify as:

• grayromantic and asexual;
• aromantic and graysexual;
• demiromantic and demisexual;
• aroflux and aceflux;
• another combination of aro-spectrum and ace-spectrum identities.

Not every person with one of these combinations uses aroace. Identity labels are personal tools, and people may choose the words that best represent their experiences.

An aromantic person could therefore be heterosexual, gay, bisexual, pansexual, or have another sexual orientation.

Aroace adds the asexual dimension: the person is on both the aromantic and asexual spectrums.

For example, an asexual person may be heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic, or alloromantic.

An aroace person experiences little or no romantic attraction as well as little or no sexual attraction.

A celibate person may experience strong sexual or romantic attraction but decide not to act on it. An aroace person may experience little or no such attraction, regardless of whether they participate in sexual activity.

Similarly, choosing not to date does not automatically make someone aromantic, and choosing not to have sex does not automatically make someone asexual.

A queerplatonic relationship is one possible arrangement. It is a close, committed relationship that goes beyond conventional friendship but is not necessarily romantic. The people involved may share a home, finances, responsibilities, affection, or long-term plans.

Other aroace people may:

• marry or date;
• remain single;
• raise children;
• live with friends;
• form chosen families;
• enjoy casual companionship;
• prefer independence.

No particular relationship structure is required for an aroace identity.

Someone may be:

• romance-favorable, indifferent, averse, or repulsed;
• sex-favorable, indifferent, averse, or repulsed.

For example, an aroace person may enjoy romantic stories without wanting romance personally. Another may dislike romantic situations altogether. Some aroace people have sex for pleasure, curiosity, intimacy, reproduction, or a partner’s enjoyment, while others do not want sexual activity.

Behavior does not automatically determine orientation. An aroace person does not stop being aroace because they date, marry, kiss, or have sex.

Many cultures assume that everyone will eventually fall in love, marry, and form a sexual partnership. This assumption is sometimes called amatonormativity, particularly when romantic partnership is treated as necessary for a complete or successful life.

An aroace person may feel pressure to:

• “find the right person”;
• treat friendship as less important than romance;
• explain why they are single;
• participate in dating despite little interest;
• accept claims that they will change later.

Respectful language recognizes that romance and sex are meaningful for many people but are not universal requirements.

Aroace means emotionally cold.
No. Emotional warmth, empathy, and affection are separate from romantic and sexual attraction.

All aroace people avoid relationships.
No. Some form committed, queerplatonic, romantic, or other partnerships.

An aroace person cannot have sex.
Incorrect. Orientation describes attraction, not required behavior.

Aroace identity results from trauma or illness.
A person may have many life experiences, but aroace identity is not itself a disorder or symptom.

Aroace people simply have not met the right person.
This dismisses their stated identity. Some people’s labels may change, but change should not be assumed or demanded.

Respectful communication includes:

• accepting the person’s identity;
• avoiding pressure to date or have sex;
• not treating friendship as less valuable;
• avoiding assumptions about behavior;
• recognizing that aroace experiences vary;
• using any additional labels the person prefers.

A person does not owe others a detailed explanation of their attraction, relationships, or sexual behavior.

1. Maya identifies as aroace and values close friendships.
2. An aroace person may experience little or no romantic and sexual attraction.
3. Can someone be aroace and still choose to date?
4. Daniel explained that being aroace does not prevent him from loving his family deeply.
5. The article distinguishes aroace from celibate and single.
6. Some aroace people form committed queerplatonic relationships.
7. Her aroace identity does not reveal whether she enjoys affection or sexual activity.
8. Learning the word aroace helped them understand their experience more clearly.

The identity also challenges the assumption that everyone needs romantic love or sexual partnership to have a meaningful life. Aroace people may build fulfillment through friendship, family, creative work, community, companionship, or chosen forms of commitment.

Understanding aroace experiences broadens discussions of sexuality beyond sexual behavior. It shows that attraction, affection, relationships, libido, and personal choices are separate parts of human experience and may appear in many different combinations.